we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
