I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
