just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.