question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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