Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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