he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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