the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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