If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
