just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He shit in the fireplace
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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