Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
