so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
