guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
