When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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