I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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