guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
