This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
