"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
