dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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