There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
