i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I party with great urgency now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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