summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
