Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
