tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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