Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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