that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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