I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize