Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize