Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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  (404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9
  Replies (20) Good night (764) Bad night (3787)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.

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  (443): Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality. http://tfl.nu/y8py
  Replies (8) Good night (3486) Bad night (809)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (797) Bad night (5814)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.

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  (+44): you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking. http://tfl.nu/0mh2
  Replies (5) Good night (3557) Bad night (892)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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  (304): it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast. http://tfl.nu/xssi
  Replies (8) Good night (1204) Bad night (5357)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

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  (716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6
  Replies (17) Good night (1426) Bad night (2947)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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  (209): I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird http://tfl.nu/f8av
  Replies (14) Good night (2025) Bad night (841)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face

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  (413): I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face http://tfl.nu/hkq0
  Replies (5) Good night (2338) Bad night (643)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.

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  (413): If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night. http://tfl.nu/7nph
  Replies (6) Good night (2011) Bad night (1436)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2499) Bad night (771)
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  (310): View more from California

  Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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  (310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (347)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...

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  (617): I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night... http://tfl.nu/7bup
  Replies (9) Good night (571) Bad night (1233)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.

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  (817): she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other. http://tfl.nu/sl8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1024) Bad night (350)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!

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  (386): Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/wrvh
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (282)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.

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  (802): Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks. http://tfl.nu/vsd9
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (300)

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