Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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