So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.