someone threw a dead crab at me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport