On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Jerry, you need to find god
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*