It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.