Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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