So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
