He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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