Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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