she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I FOUND THE LEGS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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