no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
