your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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