Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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