I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
