He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
