Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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