your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize