already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
