you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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