u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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