I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You took a bar mat shot.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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