Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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