Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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