Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come on in and take your pants off
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