My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
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I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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