I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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