youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
