Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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