Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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