You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize