How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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