You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
