Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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