We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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