Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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