wakey wakey hands off snakey
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
