R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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