therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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