Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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