garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
