My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
